


It's quarter after one (I'm all alone)

by mikeginsanity (blahblahwahwah)



Category: Pitch (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Phone Calls & Telephones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 17:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8294456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blahblahwahwah/pseuds/mikeginsanity
Summary: A few phone conversations that might happen - if I had my way in the writer's room of Pitch.Based off 1x04





	

**Author's Note:**

> Blame those gifs for this  
> \--->

 

-1-

 

“Hey! It’s me.”

“Yeah, I totally didn’t figure.”

“Huh?”

“I got you on speed dial, Baker. You think your caller ID won’t show up on my phone?”

“You have me on speed dial?”

“Shut up, Rookie.”

“….”

“You still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what.”

“Laughing.”

 

-2-

 

“Hello?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why do you sound like that?”

“Oh I uh – I’m uh – hang on, I put you on speaker. Wait – dammit! Wait! Okay! Is it better?”

“Yeah, why was I on speaker?”

“I was sort of folding stuff. This hotel room’s cupboard space sucks. I gotta keep some things in my trunk.”

“Why haven’t you gotten your own place yet?”

“I like to live on the edge.”

“You stole my line.”

“Yeah I did.”

“But seriously, Baker. It’s been like what? 4 months now? Why don’t you have your own place?”

“Ahhh! I uh – I never have the time to look. And – besides, I keep waiting for Oscar to wake up and throw me back to triple A.”

“The guy wouldn’t bump you down even when if you stole his voodoo dollhead for batting practice.”

 “I dunno.”

“Get your own place, Rookie. You’re here to stay”

“Okay.”

“….”

“….”

“You still there?”

“Yeah I’m still here.”

“Still folding clothes?”

“Still folding clothes."

 

-3-

 

“Hey-lo! Whatsup.”

“Robots or dinosaurs?”

“Say what, Baker?”

“Robots or dinosaurs?”

“Dinosaurs.”

“Figure’d you’d take the Old Man answer.”

“What are we playing?”

“Never mind. See you tomorrow.”

 

-4-

 

“Hello?”

“Hi. What are you doing?”

“Watching Cricket.”

“Discovery channel? NatGeo?”

“Not the insect, the game.

“What?”

“The game of Cricket.  They play it a lot in commonwealth countries - ”

“No, I know what Cricket, is Baker – I’m just wondering why the fuck you’re watching it?”

“Oh – um – my dad used to make me watch the bowlers. The mechanics are different but there are a lot of things one can pick up from the delivery motions of –“

“Yeah – you lost me at ‘bowlers’.”

“Okay, yeah – let me change the channel then.”

“What are you watching now?”

“Fox Sports.”

“Hang on lemme turn on the – oh! Surprise surprise! Look who’s on Fox Sports.”

“Me.”

“Yeah – I was wondering if they’d forgotten about you.”

“Okay – I’m changing the channel.”

“What are you watching now?”

“Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“Hang on, which channel? Oh wait! No I got it! Woah-ho! Tween BDSM! Didn’t know you were into the kinky stuff. So, are we watching porn together now?”

“Shut up! It’s not porn!”

“….”

“….”

“You still there?”

“Yeah I’m still here.”

“You feeling a little lonely tonight? Need a little …”

“No! I’m changing the channel!”

 

-5-

 

“Hey!”

“Hi. Hockey or soccer?”

“Hockey.”

“Yes! I knew it.”

“Why, what’d you pick?”

“Tennis.”

“Ha! Of course you would.”

 

 

-6-

 

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Hi!”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m uh – babysitting.”

“Yeah – figures you’d be doing a twelve-year old’s job on your QT.”

“Well, not all of us make as much on endorsements as you, Old Man.”

“I’d say fuck you but then there was that seminar they made me take. Why are you babysitting?”

“Oh um. Blip and Evelyn have date night. Their sitter cancelled last minute. I cover them sometimes.”

“Hmm. Yeah. Are those ankle-biters giving you any trouble?”

“Gabriel and Marcus? They’re cool. We always have fun.”

“What are you guys doing?”

“Erm – They’re sleeping, here – on the duvet.”

“And you?”

“I’m watching the end of _Zootopia_.”

“Zoo -what?”

“Never mind.”

“Hmmm.”

“Hmm. Hey Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“Didn’t you ever want kids? You – and your ex?”

“Hmm.”

“Sorry – was that too personal? You don't have to answer it.”

“Nah – nah! It’s cool. No – yeah – I um – we never discussed it.”

“Oh.”

“I always wonder, though.”

“Wonder what?”

“If we’d had a child – would she have stayed?”

“…….”

“You still there?”

“Yeah – I’m still here.”

“Anyway – it’s all another life now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah – me too.”

 

-7-

 

“Hi.”

“Hey! Who’s your favourite _Beatle_?”

“Ringo.”

“Oh. Weird.”

“Yeah.”

 

-8-

 

“Nggh! Mike I’m sleeping.”

“Oops.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yep.”

“Okay – can I go back to sleep?’

“Sure.”

“Okay…..”

“….”

“…..”

“Mike…you still there?”

“Yeah I’m still here.

“’m sleeping Mike.”

“Okay….”

“…..”

“….”

“Mike? You still there?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. Good. ’m sleepin’ then.”

“Yeah – sure go ahead.”

 

-9-

 

“Hey Baker. Whaddup?”

“Tuna or Salmon?”

“Depends on the day.”

“Wednesday.”

“Tuna.”

“Huh! Salad or sandwich?”

“Erm – sandwich.”

“Me too. Ooh I’m hungry now.”

“Heheh!”

“What?”

“When are you never hungry? Seriously Baker you eat like all the time -”

“Work hard, eat hard, right?”

“Yeah okay.”

 

-10-

 

“Hello!”

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Tarboro.”

“Home? How come?”

“My brother has a thing. I had to come for it.  I’ll be out first flight on Thursday.”

“Oh.”

“Why? Did you miss me?”

“No.”

“Okay, then.”

“….”

“….”

“You still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“What are you doing now?”

“Looking up at a picture of you – on my wall.”

“Why the – wait – seriously?”

“No.”

“You are, aren’t you.”

“No!”

“Ha ha ha! You are.”

“No! I’m not!”

“….”

“….”

“Lawson, You still there?”

“Yeah I’m still here.”

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at picture of you?”

“Haha. Very funny.”

“No, I’m serious.”

“Really? Like - on a wall?

“Nope, on the TV – but my TV’s as big as a wall.”

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

 

-11-

 

“Hi. How are you?”

“I swear to God, Baker, I’m gonna kill that little shit!.”

“Oh-Okay.”

“I’m not joking. I don’t care if he’s your BFF, I’m gonna kill him!”

“A - I don’t think Tommy aimed that wild pitch to hit your face, Old Man and B – he’s _not_ my BFF.”

“Gaaah.”

“…..”

“….”

“Is it really bad? Mike?”

“Ugh! No.”

“Then why are you calling me?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Well – _maybe_ – if you weren’t killing bees with all your snoring all day, you might actually get sleep at night.”

“Shut up.”

“You called me.”

“Earrggh!”

“You’re in pain, aren’t you?”

“Ugh! No.”

“Mike.”

“Okay – yes. It hurts like a motherfu-“

“Yeah. I get it. Do you need me to come over?”

“Yes – no!”

“I can come.”

“No – I like it this way. Talk to me about your fastball.”

“Why?”

“I’ll think about them and I’ll picture them just waiting for them to reach the batter’s box – and I’ll fall asleep waiting.”

“Fuck you.”

“Sure will.”

“It hurts.”

“I’ll bet it does.”

“He ruined my pretty face.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he could have made it any worse than it already is.”

“They shaved a part of my beard.”

“I know – I was there, remember? They had to check the damage. You were bawlin’ like an iddy-biddy baby.”

“Yeah! Fuck you, Baker!”

“Oh-kay. Did you take your painkillers?”

"I'm made of titanium, I don't take painkillers."

"And there you have it."

"Is that sarcasm I detect, Rookie?"

“……”

“……”

“You still there?”

“Yeah I’m still here.”

 

 

-12-

 

“Hello!”

“Blue or green.”

“Eyes or shirts?”

“Walls.”

“I dunno – send me a pic.”

“Hang on.”

 

-12.5-

 

 “Woah! You hung up.”

“Yeah, my bad. This phone can’t multitask.”

“Your phone’s fine. _You_ just don’t know how to use it, Old Man.”

“Shut up and tell me which color to pick for my walls.”

 

-13-

 

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Were you sleeping?”

“No. I’m still up.”

“Okay. How’re the kids?”

“Gabriel was pretty freaked out for a bit. Marcus was fine. How’s Blip?”

“He’s a mess.”

“I can imagine.”

“I’ve never seen him so scared. Sanders was on his knees while they operated her. He was praying and crying like a little child.”

“Any update on Evelyn?”

“She’s till in intensive care. They were saying something about peritonitis.”

“I didn’t know a burst appendix could get that bad.”

“Doc said it was touch and go for a while but they flushed everything out.”

“I’ll bring the kids by in the morning. What are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna hang here. Wait it out with him. The man can’t take this.”

“Mike, I don’t know what _I’d_ do if anything happened to Evelyn. Blip would –“

“….”

“….”

“You still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.

“Okay. You were saying? Blip would what?”

“She’s his rock – is what I’m saying.”

“Yeah.”

“I wonder if a love like that is an exception or a rule.”

“….”

“Mike, you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here, Ginny. I think it’s neither. I think it’s an effort.”

“I wonder if I’ll ever get to a love like that.”

“You deserve it.”

“Yeah? Y’think so?”

“Yeah you do, Baker. You deserve everything good.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> There...may be more??


End file.
